What a Difference a Year Can Make!

June 28, 2015:  Gotcha Day!!

A year ago we were in Haiti having a party with 80 or more children at an orphanage. Today we ate cake (with far fewer than 80 children), played with some cousins, celebrated a friend who is preparing for a missions trip to Haiti, enjoyed a rainy day movie, braided hair, and watched our puppies run around with toys that don't actually belong to them.  As I tucked Naomi in to bed tonight she said, "Mom, it was a goooood day."  And she was right.

Naomi's first independent read!

One year ago I was excited to be sleeping in Haiti and waiting for the first flight out in the morning. I had no idea how to parent these two little girls that boarded a plane with us and became ours forever in a moment, but it didn't matter because we were finally in the real part of life, and not in the waiting part.  We had prayed for them and waited for them and we thought we knew them, but in reality we knew them very little.  Even our then-11 year old daughter was quick to point out that the newest family members were not the same people that we had seen in pictures for nearly three years. They were not who we had made them to be in our minds.    The next twelve months would change how we saw both of these little ladies, but we did not know that at the time.

Yoho family campout!

A year later I finally feel like I have found a rhythm in parenting again.  It is a unique experience to both learn a child and train a child at the same time.  With biological children we have the opportunity to slowly learn who they are, and in the same time they learn who we are.  With adopted children, especially older ones, the parent is learning about their child as they are trying to help them learn about their family, their world, and their God.  For us, trust is being built in those simple little actions like holding hands in the parking lot and being made to wear a seat belt.  It is formed in the consistently reinforced boundaries of a family (It is never okay to ask a stranger for gum out of her purse.  Even if you think you know her.  Even if she smiles at you.  Even if her gum looks really good), and experienced in routines that never change (Yes, we always sit down when we eat.  Even when we need to eat quickly.  Even when it is soup for lunch.  Even when it is Friday.  Please just sit down already!)    Love is defined in the times when a child is disciplined and then finds herself coming back for a hug and a word of encouragement.  Love is being learned when a sibling teaches you something new, protects you from a world who might not understand you, and reads Franklin books over and over and over again because they are your favorite.  I feel like this first year has really been about just learning each other and building trust with each other.

This used to be Joanna's standard expression.

It is hard to imagine that a year has passed. I asked my sweet husband last night how he felt a year later.  Did he feel more blessed?  More filled with God's provisions?  More encouraged and excited about our children?  More in love with his children?  He just chuckled and said, "Nope."  And then he added that that wasn't bad because none of these things were promised by God.  The day-to-day experience of raising kids from tough places doesn't always feel like any of the things that we think of when we hear the word "adoption".  It certainly does not feel warm and fuzzy, or heroic, or wonderful, or encouraging most days.  In all honesty, I feel more drained, more hurt, more tired, and more humbled than ever before.  Our lows are pretty low, but our successes are pretty amazing.  We are experiencing more of God's grace, more of His love, and more of his provision as we watch Him grow and mold our family into the people He wants us all to be.  The things he has promised:  eternal life to those who believe in him and forgiveness of sins, faithfulness to complete the works he has started:  those are the promises to which I cling.

This is how she is seen most often now!

It has been amazing to experience some many firsts this year.  Learning to read, dancing "on the big stage,"  going camping, a trip to the beach, finally understanding rhyming words, mastering the spelling of Tuesday (come on....give these young learners a break English!), making friends, watching baseball, seeing fireworks for the first time, getting puppies.....what a year.

Joanna is all excitement all the time. Anything can be fun, especially if it includes a snack.  She is quick to tell you what is not her favorite, but is usually cheerful in the telling.  Each week after Sunday school she is proud to tell me what she learned.  My favorite so far was the day of Pentecost:  "Them had fire on them heads, and them had Jesus in them hearts and them was happy!"  Joanna, you are the best little sister a family could have.

Naomi's first dance recital!

Naomi is finding her place int he middles of this pack and making a name for herself.  She has made excellent progress in school this year and continues to plow through the books this summer.  She loves to dance, sing, and make people happy.  Her monthly shift in the nursery is often a highlight at church-we call her the baby whisperer as she seems able to calm most any upset little one.  She is currently in training on the developmental swim team and hopes to be able to join her big sibs on the big team next year.  She already tells me that when she grows up she will live close by so she can make me dinner!

When we look back on the first pictures of our family we are reminded of the brokenness that existed in the girls' hearts.  Today they are totally different kids:  we can't get them to stop giggling, smiling, and talking (there is always a LOT of talking).  Though the view from the weeds is tough and sometimes hurts, the aerial view is pretty amazing and we are so blessed to have friends and family that help us see it when we, ourselves, lose sight of what is really happening 12 months later!  It was fun to read back through the blog tonight and be reminded of the way things were many months ago.  I will say, that though all of the "firsts" have been very fun, we are glad that our first year is wrapping up and are looking forward to the "seconds" with the hope that they will come with fewer questions!  :)