What a Difference a Year Can Make!

June 28, 2015:  Gotcha Day!!

A year ago we were in Haiti having a party with 80 or more children at an orphanage. Today we ate cake (with far fewer than 80 children), played with some cousins, celebrated a friend who is preparing for a missions trip to Haiti, enjoyed a rainy day movie, braided hair, and watched our puppies run around with toys that don't actually belong to them.  As I tucked Naomi in to bed tonight she said, "Mom, it was a goooood day."  And she was right.

Naomi's first independent read!

One year ago I was excited to be sleeping in Haiti and waiting for the first flight out in the morning. I had no idea how to parent these two little girls that boarded a plane with us and became ours forever in a moment, but it didn't matter because we were finally in the real part of life, and not in the waiting part.  We had prayed for them and waited for them and we thought we knew them, but in reality we knew them very little.  Even our then-11 year old daughter was quick to point out that the newest family members were not the same people that we had seen in pictures for nearly three years. They were not who we had made them to be in our minds.    The next twelve months would change how we saw both of these little ladies, but we did not know that at the time.

Yoho family campout!

A year later I finally feel like I have found a rhythm in parenting again.  It is a unique experience to both learn a child and train a child at the same time.  With biological children we have the opportunity to slowly learn who they are, and in the same time they learn who we are.  With adopted children, especially older ones, the parent is learning about their child as they are trying to help them learn about their family, their world, and their God.  For us, trust is being built in those simple little actions like holding hands in the parking lot and being made to wear a seat belt.  It is formed in the consistently reinforced boundaries of a family (It is never okay to ask a stranger for gum out of her purse.  Even if you think you know her.  Even if she smiles at you.  Even if her gum looks really good), and experienced in routines that never change (Yes, we always sit down when we eat.  Even when we need to eat quickly.  Even when it is soup for lunch.  Even when it is Friday.  Please just sit down already!)    Love is defined in the times when a child is disciplined and then finds herself coming back for a hug and a word of encouragement.  Love is being learned when a sibling teaches you something new, protects you from a world who might not understand you, and reads Franklin books over and over and over again because they are your favorite.  I feel like this first year has really been about just learning each other and building trust with each other.

This used to be Joanna's standard expression.

It is hard to imagine that a year has passed. I asked my sweet husband last night how he felt a year later.  Did he feel more blessed?  More filled with God's provisions?  More encouraged and excited about our children?  More in love with his children?  He just chuckled and said, "Nope."  And then he added that that wasn't bad because none of these things were promised by God.  The day-to-day experience of raising kids from tough places doesn't always feel like any of the things that we think of when we hear the word "adoption".  It certainly does not feel warm and fuzzy, or heroic, or wonderful, or encouraging most days.  In all honesty, I feel more drained, more hurt, more tired, and more humbled than ever before.  Our lows are pretty low, but our successes are pretty amazing.  We are experiencing more of God's grace, more of His love, and more of his provision as we watch Him grow and mold our family into the people He wants us all to be.  The things he has promised:  eternal life to those who believe in him and forgiveness of sins, faithfulness to complete the works he has started:  those are the promises to which I cling.

This is how she is seen most often now!

It has been amazing to experience some many firsts this year.  Learning to read, dancing "on the big stage,"  going camping, a trip to the beach, finally understanding rhyming words, mastering the spelling of Tuesday (come on....give these young learners a break English!), making friends, watching baseball, seeing fireworks for the first time, getting puppies.....what a year.

Joanna is all excitement all the time. Anything can be fun, especially if it includes a snack.  She is quick to tell you what is not her favorite, but is usually cheerful in the telling.  Each week after Sunday school she is proud to tell me what she learned.  My favorite so far was the day of Pentecost:  "Them had fire on them heads, and them had Jesus in them hearts and them was happy!"  Joanna, you are the best little sister a family could have.

Naomi's first dance recital!

Naomi is finding her place int he middles of this pack and making a name for herself.  She has made excellent progress in school this year and continues to plow through the books this summer.  She loves to dance, sing, and make people happy.  Her monthly shift in the nursery is often a highlight at church-we call her the baby whisperer as she seems able to calm most any upset little one.  She is currently in training on the developmental swim team and hopes to be able to join her big sibs on the big team next year.  She already tells me that when she grows up she will live close by so she can make me dinner!

When we look back on the first pictures of our family we are reminded of the brokenness that existed in the girls' hearts.  Today they are totally different kids:  we can't get them to stop giggling, smiling, and talking (there is always a LOT of talking).  Though the view from the weeds is tough and sometimes hurts, the aerial view is pretty amazing and we are so blessed to have friends and family that help us see it when we, ourselves, lose sight of what is really happening 12 months later!  It was fun to read back through the blog tonight and be reminded of the way things were many months ago.  I will say, that though all of the "firsts" have been very fun, we are glad that our first year is wrapping up and are looking forward to the "seconds" with the hope that they will come with fewer questions!  :)

Mother's Day

A year ago  I was standing in front of our church congregation giving a testimony to the work that God was doing in our family.  Nothing says, "Happy Mother's Day," like telling your church family that you are struggling to walk in faith while you wait for your adoption to be finalized so your children can come home.  That was a hard day despite the many hugs and encouraging words that came from friends after I shared raw feelings.

Today a new and different sort of tears fell as I stood in worship.  Tears of healing,and of joy, and of thanks.  God WAS being faithful as we were waiting.  He WAS providing for us even though ti was hard for us to see His ways.  He DID bring our children home in His timing.  And today I got to look back, remember, and rejoice in all that he HAd done, and all that he is yet to do.  Today as I sang of his greatness, a little girl, MY little girl, sang along.  She didn't know all the words, and she couldn't necessarily read fast enough to make them out from the screen, but her heart desired to magnify the same God that mine did.  The pain of last year on Mother's Day was still real in my heart because we will always grieve the years that we lost with these two loves, but there was healing and joy to replace the hurt that I felt so deeply last year.

This was definitely the best Mother's Day I have had so far.  I loved how Joanna ran out of Sunday school pleased to deliver to me the "surprise" candle that she had made for me as if I had no clue it was coming (I spent all day Saturday melting the candle for the kids)  I loved how Naomi has spent the last three weeks preparing my gift and keeping it hidden in her room!  I was spoiled with chocolate covered strawberries from Ryan, sweet notes from all of my kids, and even a long walk with my puppies. One of my children loved me enough to convert the Declaration of Independence into a Declaration of Mom.  It was pretty impressive.   But I think the best thing about today is that God used a tough Sunday last year as a marker in my life to show me that His love for me is steadfast.  He provides for me everyday through my husband and my children, and today was no exception.  What a mighty God!

Nine Months!

The end of January marked seven months of the girls being home.  And this blog post never got written.  The end of February came and went and the girls had been home for eight months and still this blog never got published.  Here we are in the beginning of March and before we hit the end, when the girls will have been here for Nine months, I am going to publish this post.  And it will be early!  (I know, this is the same thing as writing things on your To-Do list that you have already done just to show progress.  We Type A's are like that sometimes!)

We finally got enough snow to build a snow friend....but now we really want our flip-flops!

 June seems like ages ago.   So where are we seven eight almost nine months later?    By God's grace, we are feeling "normal."  There is nothing that really sticks out about us.  Okay, maybe we stick out a little because we are a large family.  For example, there was a guy in Walmart this week who asked if I did day care.  When I responded that they are all mine he followed up with, "Um, adopted?"  When I affirmed that some of them were, he threw up a big ol' high five and reported that he, too, had been adopted.  It is always nice to have a fan when you are in the trenches of shopping for aluminum foil in Walmart with six children who all want to pick out different dog treats for the new puppy that arrives in a week.  (Did I mention they were all loud and rowdy since they had only been outside once in the previous week because it is so cold? )

But aside from that, things are really normal.  Well, except there is still a little language learning going on.  Today I had to explain the difference between a hearse and a horse. That was a very amusing conversation to have.  My Haitian new reader is really fighting with the R-controlled vowels!

At the mid-point in the school year we are happy to report 6 kids who enjoy school (for the most part)!  Naomi is well on her way to being and independent reader and writer and this week she conquered the doubles addition facts and tens pairs.  These are little victories in a big war, but they are huge in our world.   Just when I am ready to throw in the towel on a given concept she shows up having mastered it.  I am perpetually reminding myself that she has MANY hurdles to overcome that most kids will never deal with, and she is attacking them head on.  She participated in our home-school science fair last month and did a great job of talking with the judges about what she had learned.  I was so proud and she loved getting a third place ribbon!

Joanna is enjoying preschool and especially loves her weekly field trip with Nana and her two cousins to the library for story time.  She loves Mr. John who sings songs and reads stories and leads them in a craft and typically comes home with her project demanding that it be hung up in the kitchen.  We are trying a couple of weeks of gluten-free diet for her to see if that will improve some minor issues.  She is such a delight that even when the rest of the crew is eating homemade bread she gladly eats her "special food" since "glue stick" makes her tummy hurt.  Gluten, sweet girl, gluten.  (Though glue sticks would hurt you too)

One of my masterpieces!

I am coming to terms with Haitian hair, and now taking hairstyle requests from Naomi every two weeks.  Last week she really brought on the challenge with a request for braids that wrapped around her head and ended on the top with beads that would look like bangs but in the end she said I did great.  "I knew you could do it Mom!"  I still have a long way to go, but I no longer feel intimidated by the lady at the library who offered me her phone number to help with Joanna's hair two months ago.

Joanna helping big sis with her photography class

6 Months!

As I sit here pondering whether to stay awake to ring in the New Year or to just call it good and go to bed,  it seemed like a good time to update the blog. The girls have now been home for 6 months-half of a year.....it still seems like we stepped off of a plane last week, but when I really look at all that God has done in our lives, it is obvious that they have been here for a while.  Since it is New Year's Eve, it seemed fitting to blog a top ten list.  Here goes....

Top Ten Ways that 2015 Will Look Different From 2014 For Team Yoho

1.  I will spend many more Tuesday nights braiding hair while watching a movie.  (I have to actually schedule time on my calendar for this three hour endeavor.  I am slow, not that good, and still learning on this front!)

2. I will now walk around with  the Doc McStuffins theme song (or at least part of it) in my head driving me nuts while I fold laundry and make dinner.

3. I will strive to hold my Haitian daughters and read to them from God's word each night before I tuck them in.  One of them, in particular, refuses to sleep without hearing the Word of the Lord. (thankful for this kid's insistence, especially when I am tired at tuck-in time)

4.  Our school budget will increase because James is consuming books really fast and our two newest students are burning through curriculum at an exciting pace.  

5.  I anticipate that my vacuum will burn out this year due to tiny rubber bands and beads being sucked up from all areas of the house.  Surely it can only take so many assaults before it refuses to work anymore.

6. Since 33% more socks are being worn in the family this year, surely more socks will lose their mates. Just today seven lonely socks came out of a load.  SEVEN UNMATCHED SOCKS IN A SINGLE LOAD!!!

7. The second half of the year will feel really normal because it will be full of "seconds" not "firsts." We will all know what to expect and nothing will be as scary or awkward as it was this year.  (For example, it will be more obvious that we don't throw away all of the decorations after Christmas, we just pack them up and save them until the next year.)

8.  We will begin full-time use of  the currently neglected basement bathroom because 6 children, two of whom are 'tween girls, using a single bathroom seems to be about 2-3 too many at any one point in time.

9.  I will answer at least 50 questions a day from a five year old who eagerly seeks to engage in conversation and to make sense of everything she see around her.

10.   We will praise our God together for the work he has done in each of our hearts.  We will stand in the same house and use the same language to speak praises to our God.  We will marvel at the way that He has taken 8 sinful lives, melded them into one family, and continued to pour patience, grace, kindness, acceptance, and love into out hearts to help us grow together as a team.  We will fail as a team, and we will grow as a team, and we will all experience the forgiveness and great grace of our God together.  And we will thank Him for the hard days because they help us see our need for Him.

Happy New Year!  10:30pm is close enough, I am going to bed!

Christmas 2014

I love Christmas.  I spend as much thought, energy, and time as I possibly can helping my family celebrate Christmas.  We bake, we craft, we read, we sing, and we anticipate.  December is my favorite time of the year.  This year is was sure to be even better than ever because we finally had all of our people in our home!
As we got closer to December, however, the reality of our situation hit me:  my two newest daughters both have birthday in December:  YIKES!  Other realities hit me too:  there are alot of things that they don't know about Christmas.  Aside from our family traditions, which would be all new to the girls, there are lots of other things that would be new too:  Christmas music (though they did come to me knowing Feliz Navidad!), the fact that Christmas is really Jesus' birthday, the cultural elements of Christmas like popular movies and decorations, and the idea of a school break to celebrate something.
There was so much to teach-and we loved using the month of December to expose the girls to all that Christmas means to us.  Ryan and I agreed that our main goal was to help the girls learn what it means to celebrate.  As I sit by the tree as our Christmas activities are coming to an end, I can see that our plans were once again small in comparison to what God had laid out.  Here are a few highlights from this week:
Christmas Eve service-For our family, the main event of Christmas is the Children's Worship Service on Christmas Eve.  This is a total family effort each year and is a great way for us to learn together and worship together.  Joanna joined the preschool choir and was a star-she knew her entire song, did all the motions, and keep the beat beautifully.  Naomi joined the other big kids in the elementary choir which required her to learn at least 7 new songs. Abigail was one of the two narrators and Ryan was the service host and also helped lead the worship portion of the service.  While directing the program there was no room for emotion, but as soon as we were finished the tears flowed.   Here we were, trying to give Jesus a birthday gift of worship, and really He was continuing to give us good gifts.  Having my whole family together, and having all eight of us singing praises to Jesus was a gift I had waited to receive for many longs months.
Another highlight came in the form of the Milne cousins Nativity play.  My girls have learned well what Christmas is about-and they joined with their cousins and siblings to present their version of the Christmas story-complete with costumes!!  Naomi was also able to join in the annual reading of the Christmas story this year at the Yoho family Christmas.  She was so proud to be able to join with the big kids in this family tradition.
Not being a musician myself, I am always thrilled when my brother-in-law pulls out his guitar on Christmas and lea
ds us in carols.  This year we capped off our festivities with several family favorites and were blessed to have Ryan's grandparents (age 94 and 93) join us as well.
There have been so many more great moments, but these are just a few of the highlights from Christmas 2014.

Happy Birthday Naomi

Since she first saw a birthday celebrated here in America, Naomi has been counting down to her own special day. (First we had to master the calendar and how it works, followed by learning that everyone has their own birthday, then learning when hers was, they learning that waiting is hard and requires patience!)   There has been a lot to learn to get her to this special day, but she has endured and was well rewarded today with a family-style birthday party in the Frozen Theme.  There were certain requirements:  a very colorful cake, games, Olaf, as much Frozen paraphernalia as possible, and of course, presents.  (She was even so bold as to tell some of her relatives what they should bring for her!)


These Olaf socks friends seemed like a must for our craft-loving Naomi so we enjoyed creating a small army of these guys.  Who wouldn't want to build this snowman??

Pin the parts on Olaf was great fun but not nearly as entertaining as watching the children battle the grownups in a game of "Sing the next line of this song from the movie."  The kids had that one hands down!

 Happy Birthday joyful Naomi!  We loved celebrating your first American birthday with you today!  You are growing in grace and maturity everyday and it is a great privilege to be your parents.   We look forward to watching how God helps you grown even more in the next year!!!

"I'm thankful for Five!"

The birthday girl!!

On Thanksgiving we always write in a little journal and tell what we are thankful for.  Even the youngest children participate by having their quotes written down. This year Joanna told Abigail to write that she is thankful for five. (by which she meant that she is thankjful that she would soon have a birthday)  Her birthday, celebrated today, is actually tomorrow.  She has been looking forward to turning five for a while now.  This being her first birthday with us, we decided to do up a big themed party with friends and family.  Her only wishes were for Cheetos and chocolate cake.  What an easy girl!!

So, today we celebrated our baby girl turning five with a Minnie Mouse birthday.  When she was asked at church this morning how old she was she replied that she was four, but that after lunch she would be five.  (that is when her party was so in her mind that was the turning point!)  She loved every minute of her birthday party.  She enjoyed the people who came to see her.  She loved having her cousins and friends play party games with her.  She delighted in the fun of musical chairs-minnie mouse style!  And she couldn't have been happier as she ate her cake and cheetos.   She was a champ at opening presents and holding them up for all to see, and made me proud when she used delightful manners to thank her guests personally after each gift that she opened.  All of that was followed up by some time on the trampoline since the weather allowed for outside play time!

Playing games with friends

As Joanna played games with friends and ate cake and had a great time, we praised God for the work he is already doing in her life.   I thanked him for giving her life and health.  I praised him that she knows the love of a father on earth and prayed that one day she would accept the love of her Father in heaven.  I marveled at the crowd of people who gathered around her to celebrate with her-the ones who prayed for her before they ever knew her; the ones who loved her before they ever saw her; the ones who accept her for who she is and who will continue to walk alongside her as she grows.  I thanked God for five short months with her and wondered how things would be five more years from now.  I welled up at the joy of being called "momma" by this little tiny girl that we call Joanna.

Chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream makes for a happy girl

Today was a really fun day of celebrating a really fun little girl.  It was even more fun celebrating with this little girl because she is OUR little girl.  Joanna, we love you to pieces.  You bless our lives-all 7 of us!  Happy birthday sweet girl!!!