Four Months

Tomorrow marks four months since the girls came home.  A lot can change in four months.  We brought home two little girls who were sullen, quiet, reserved, and nervous.  One of them was struggling with a heart condition that sapped her of strength and energy and the other was struggling with how to let herself be loved and accepted without conditions.

Preschool under the watchful eye of big brother

We were braced and prepared for the worst, knowing that the girls would need time to work through grief and change.  We were counting on six months, at least, of not feeling like a functional family.  We were allowing for an entire year of adjusting to new things and of pulling out of "normal" life in order to walk this dicey road with Naomi and Joanna.

When everyone works together, the science gets done!

We had prayed, waited, prayed, waited, and prayed some more for these very days which we knew would be difficult.  We read every book we could find by credible authors, we took online classes, sought out the counsel of other adoptive families and braced ourselves for the worst.  If I were to draw a cartoon of us it would have resembled a huddle mass We thought we were prepared for all that was coming our way as, terrified but hoping for the best.

Middle girls agonizing over math together

What I can see now is that what we were not prepared for was allowing God to so fully and incredibly bless our socks off as we all learned together how to make this nervous hoard into a joyful family.  Where we had fear, God had great plans for our future.  But isn't that exactly what we are promised as His children?  


There are moments that are tough, but not whole days anymore.  The Lord has been showing me that this is really just a picture of HIS relentless pursuit of me!  When I fail, his love abounds.  When I run from Him, he chases me down.  When I sulk, He sticks close.  When I am frustrated, confused, and angry, He provides peace and understanding, and even joy.  I am so blessed to be learning more about my God while I teach Noami and Joanna more about theirs.  Not every moment feels like a scene from a Hallmark movie, but the Lord continues to show me grace as I navigate the good and the bad.  Even Naomi noted tonight at bedtime that we have all been really happy lately.

Joanna and her playdough self

The biggest marker of the fourth month has been how much learning is taking place.  We discuss the Bible, how our actions affect others, what good choices look like and how our heart attitude defines our decisions.  But we talk about a lot of practical stuff, too.  This week I had to explain why you can't play with the hair of someone you do not know, or just pick up the iPhone of a spectator in the stands at the baseball game.  I also had to explain that all people start as babies and they grow until they become adults (no I don't have baby pictures of you, but you did grow in your mom's tummy....all people do).  We covered the difference between fridges and freezers (and the fact that playdough does not need to be stored in either), why we don't drive fast in neighborhoods, why windows can be open but screens have to stay closed and why it is important to go potty before bedtime.  

sister love!

Oh, we also talked about the difference between pork and chicken,  and why telling people they need a haircut is a little bit rude.  Then there was the moment I had to explain that when you see money in your sister's room you can't take it (even if you intend to put it in the jar where you are collecting money for our church missionary).  We spent some time on the idea that there are many things available in a store but not all of them are for us.  We covered how some voices are for inside and others are for outside, and then we discussed the reason why flip-flops (which she calls floop-flops) are no longer seasonally acceptable footwear.

For the last three years we have watched the pages of the calendar turn and we had wondered what life would be like when the girls were finally home.  Now we know.  In a word, it is GREAT.  During that time we also wondered how much longer it would be until the girls were with us.  Though we tried not to, we hung our hopes on holidays, birthdays, seasons, and other special family events.  Now, after all this time, we are receiving the gift of experiencing all kinds of new things with the girls.

What a blessing to pray with and for my girls 

On Sunday it was our great joy to stand before our church family and participate in the Child Dedication ceremony.We had watched at least 4 or 5 of these and wondered how much longer it would be until we would stand up with our girls.  What a joy that our time had come.   It was even sweeter that Noami and Joanna were able to understand the significance of standing before the congregation and having them commit to praying for the girls and to helping us as we train them up to know Jesus.  Each of the girls came home with a Bible and a special Bible story book which they have poured through by flashlight for the past two nights.  God continues to heap great gifts and immeasurable grace upon us.  It's funny, but I always tell new mommies to give themselves four months to really adjust to a new baby in the house. I have always found that to be the amount of time it took to really get into a "groove" and to operate smoothly (or at least to have clean clothes to wear and reasonable food on the table). Here we are at the four month mark and I feel like we've hit our stride.  Thanks be to God!

Another first....camping!

Girls Only Popcorn Party in the tent!!

When we introduced the idea of camping to Naomi and Joanna they were simultaneously excited and hesitant.  Naomi's initial response was, "Sleeping outside?  No, the monkeys are gonna eat me!"   However, when her sisters explained that it was safe and that we would sleep in a tent ("little house outside") she warmed to the idea.   All day Friday the girls were giddy with excitement, especially since this was a girls-only outing.  We packed the car and drove off to the campsite with eager faces pressed to the windows who asked  every 5-7 minutes, "Is this camping?"  Nope.  this is the highway.  "Is THIS camping???"  Nope.  This is traffic.
They really had no idea what to expect, but once we pulled up and they saw their cousins, a fire, and their "little house" they were thrilled.  Abigail and Elizabeth were enthusiastic big sister as they helped set up the tent and teach their little sisters how we do camping.  After dinner and Uncle Dean's amazing cobbler and ice cream (yes, we took ice cream camping!)  we broke out glow sticks and decorated ourselves.  Immediately the girls were ready for bed (mostly they were excited to hang out in their tent) so we moved into  the tent just as the rain set in.  The glow sticks became tent decorations and we invited cousin Lydia over for a popcorn party.
As we settled in for the night, I encouraged the girls to listen carefully to see what they could identify  as we snuggled into our sleeping bags.  Naomi loved the quiet of the night and the sounds of the bugs, frogs, and other night critters that we could hear.  "Oh mom, its beautiful.  God made all of that!"
We expected rain not just because it was foretasted but because it always rains when I camp.  What I did not expect was that that the girls would sleep right through all of it without stirring all night. (Which is more than I can say for myself due to the tree root under my right hip!)
The girls were all smiles as they woke up.  Joanna sat straight up and said to Abigail, "Where's my mom?"  ( I love that she always refers to me as "My mom.")

A few rounds of pre-bedtime UNO before the rain set in

After breakfast we enjoyed a time of worship with all of our fellow Trailsmen and AHG troop members.  "How Great Thou Art" sounded amazing with my girls all around me in an outdoor amphitheater as the sun broke through after a long night of rain.  The best part was that Naomi told me afterward that she knew that song and I was able to tell her that God knew she would be there for that very moment and that HE gave her the gift of a song she knew.  Her face lit up at the thought of a God who loved her enough to provide a familiar song in the midst of this unfamiliar experience.
I have to say that I am proud of my two youngest girls.  They stepped out to try something new and were all smiles the whole time.  I never heard a complaint, a whining voice, or a request to be doing something else. Manners were amazing, good choices were made, and the sisters bonded even more.  Though this could have been met with resistance and fear, God blessed us with peace and trust.    Their trust earned them a new favorite pasttime......a camping we will go!!